A poignant sidebar in family history

Close by Old Salem in Winston-Salem, N.C., are two cemeteries. One is the Moravian cemetery, filled with the settlers who shaped Old Salem and their kin, as well as some of the African-Americans who were their neighbors. Northeast of it is Salem Cemetery, full of beautiful gravestones and poignant hidden stories. Here is one with a tie to our family:

There are a number of names in the Martin family plot, none more intriguing than this, that of Lillian Martin, who died in 1914 at the awfully tender age of 17. That's poignant enough, but consider the story behind it: Lillian was the young wife of Charles Norman Martin. She had recently given birth to a son, Charles Norman Martin Jr. (yes, a mother at age 16 or 17) and was holding him by a fire trying to keep warm on a January night when her long nightgown caught fire. Lillian was able to throw the baby to safety, but she was fatally burned.

A couple of years later, her young widower married again, this time to Mamie Luella Jackson. Charles and Mamie had a child, Norma Martin (later Cashion; see blog post above on Norma Martin Cashion). In 1918, both Charles and Mamie got the flu during the deadly influenza pandemic. Mamie recovered; Charles died on Nov. 5, 1918. Mamie went on to marry Clyde Clifton Miller, our grandfather.

Charles is buried in the same plot as his first wife, the unfortunate Lillian. Both died young under awful circumstances. Their deaths are part of the callous vagaries of history -- had they not died, we (the Edwards and Miller kids) would not be here today, because Mamie Jackson and Clyde Clifton Miller would never have married and had kids.

This led to a moment of black humor recently at our Miller family Thanksgiving dinner. We were going around the table talking about what we were grateful for. Hannah Miller, 18, paused thoughtfully and said: "I'm grateful for the 1917-1918 flu epidemic, because without it, we wouldn't be here!"

Ah, but someone ELSE would be here then, yes?

As for little Charles Norman Martin Jr., it is our understanding that he was raised by his grandparents and is now a senior citizen in Winston-Salem, N.C. We don't doubt that he visits this gravesite occasionally, reflecting on the light and shadows in history.